Day 2/30
Day 2 - Did you have any experiences as a child that might have foreshadowed your sexuality?
This is what I should have looked like as a child. But lets get back on track.
As a child I often told my friends that I wanted to be a boy, or at least that I felt like I was one. I was hardly girly enough to fit in with girls, but as it turned out I was kinda too weird to hang out with boys (not to mention we were all in the “cooties” stage).
A lot of the time I would say “I sound like a guy on the phone, don’t I? I mean my voice is pretty deep.” And things like that. And since then I haven’t ever felt as though I could really connect with typically feminine women or bestially masculine men.
I also was taken advantage of sexually by some guys in middle/ high school. That didn’t help my feelings towards men (kinda switching to sexuality without warning). I honestly don’t think I understood what a dick really was until 10th-11th grade, but the first time I saw one I knew I didn’t want it. I had been attracted to girls for a while before then, though I tried to stick to guys because I was still religious on some level (I am not anymore). And that isn’t me hinting that I’m against religion. I just don’t think I’ve found one I can really believe in as of yet, and if I never do that’s fine with me. I’m comfortably agnostic.
Anyway, I feel like I’ve veered off track. I guess that my gender identity kinda fueled my sexuality, though I wouldn’t say it decided it. That is to say, my masculinity makes it hard for me to want to be the “bottom” in a relationship.
But honestly, girls just smell, act, taste, feel, etc so much better, don’t they lezzies?
(and besides, we can do this ^ blurry business in bed. don’t believe me? look a little more closely)
Yeah. I’m a bit off topic. So, I’ll try to give a tl;dr version
Genderqueer:
1. Felt like I didn’t fit in with boys or girls
Lesbian
1. Sexual Deception
2. Blurry Business
Sorry, I feel as though I did a poor job of answering this question. Also my memory isn’t very good, so asking me questions about that far back is kinda worthless.
Until next post!
